Christmas season and Iâm joyful. Iâm joyful because I choose to be. My happy Christmas state of mind is a conscious decision, achieved through the practice of mindfulness and non-attachment. For me non-attachment to outcomes, coupled with no expectations is a path to joy.
My holidays were sometimes fraught with anxiety, high expectations, exhaustion and disappointment ⊠because I wanted everything (and everyone) to be perfect⊠not Isabelâs perfick⊠but Perfect – Perfect.
My mom died when I was 32, so as the eldest child (of six) I assumed the mantle of creating happy moments, traditions and memories – not just for my family, but for my siblings and their families too. I wanted everyone to be happy. I wanted every Christmas to be magical. Chronically late family members, no shows at the last minute, rule violations of the Secret Santa game, perceived slights and other petty annoyances threatened my peace of mind and stole my joy.
Then I found yoga. I began practicing yoga in 2011 as a way to diversify my exercise routine – kick boxing in the morning- yoga at night. Yoga is a practice steeped in mindfulness, with an overarching thesis of non-attachment. Over these ten plus years of yoga practice, Iâve internalized and wholeheartedly accepted this thesis. It is freeing to be able to detach myself from external factorsâŠespecially during the holidays. Iâm free to enjoy every moment with no expectations. I try my best to create a happy festive atmosphere for my loved ones and I hope they all have a wonderful time, but my happiness is tied to my efforts, not their actions. And therein lies the joy. Acceptance, love and no expectations win the day.
Since weâve returned to New York, thereâs been a lot of joy. With just one week to go until Christmas Eve, weâve crammed in a bunch of seasonal happiness already. Hereâs what weâve been up toâŠ
After recovering from the trip north, we took the Lovebugs Christmas shopping and enjoyed delicious tapas and yummy desserts at La Buena Vida in Moriches. Niall and Samantha are wonderful hosts and made a great fuss over the girls.
Nothing and I mean nothing, makes me happier than to be with these three.
Favorites included empanadas, grilled octopus,lamb chops, bacon wrapped dates and chicken.
Claire choose the chocolate mousse, Isabel the cheesecake and Timmy stole a bite or two from each.
A few days later, found us choosing a Christmas tree for our family room. We bought the tree at a small roadside family run garden/plant center in our community. We were unable to coordinate with Grace and Charlotte a time that worked for themâŠso for the first time everâŠthe little bugs had final say about the tree choice. That went a long way to easing their disappointment in not sharing this tradition with the cousins.
Nicely done â„ïž
Claireâs holding the angel made by her dad 45 years ago.
Thereâs always a discussion about who has the honor of placing Dadâs creation atop the tree.
Very important decisions to be made regarding the proper apportionment of the candy and to which dish.
Canât have a visit to Grandmaâs without the requisite fashion show.
The preparation takes longer than the fashion show itself.
Please note that Isabel is holding onto the red purse for dear lifeâŠClaire was first to choose the red dressâŠsoâŠallâs fair in war and fashion.
So we were out and about and I said âHey Timmy, how about a pic with those guys?â Oh and please note the grey and gloomy skiesâŠalthough it hasnât been bone chilling coldâŠnothing enticing about December weather in New York. Nothing.
Weâve spent a few evenings driving around viewing Christmas lights – with the bugs and by our selves – I have hundreds of photosâŠhopefully Iâll have time to create a separate blog post. Anyway hereâs one of my favoritesâŠwe pass by on our way to and from the Lovebugsâ home and it was one of the first homes decorated in early December.
Here we are on the Long Island Railroad on our way into NYC for our annual pilgrimage. We missed going last Christmas and Iâm happy that we went this year. We struggled with our decision- weighed the risks for us and then headed in for a modified version of our expedition to experience the holidays in NYC. We didnât visit my favorite stores, no taking in the hustle (emphasis on hustle) and bustle of Times Square, no Broadway show.. but we had a wonderful time and definitely received our Big Apple holiday fix.
Exponentially less crowded than in any previous year.
We arrived before sunset ⊠it really was magicalâŠIâm sorry that my phone couldnât capture the beautiful way the sun reflected off the buildingsâŠhereâs my best effort.
We made dinner reservations for 4:30 pm at Limani âŠcorrectly thinking that thereâd be fewer patrons at that time. Upon arrival the host asked for our vaccine cards and carefully matched them to our IDs. We were duly impressed and noted thatâs itâs most likely safer to dine in NYC than on Long Island where you donât know the vax status of the other diners.
We began with a shared classic Greek salad. Fresh and delicious. Timmy ordered a Mediterranean Mule, I had a Pomegranate Martini.
This is Kolokithi⊠Thin slices of zucchini and eggplant with fried kefalograviera cheese and tzatziki. Weâd had the fried cheese in 2019 in Athens and loved it, it paired perfectly with the vegetables.
Timmy totally surprised me when he ordered lobster with linguine.
My Canadian halibut was perfectly grilled and paired nicely with the 2019 Giesen Estate, Marlborough, NZ.
No issues with social distancing at all.
KaridopitaâŠwalnut sponge cake with cinnamon, cloves and honey. The lavender ice cream was beyond creamy⊠trying not to think about the butterfat content.
We asked an adorable young couple to take our photo. Then I returned the favor, taking multiple photos. I wish Iâd taken a pic of them – their happiness reminded us how precious young love is.
So this photo popped up in my Facebook feedâŠexactly 5 years ago-12/16/16. I was wearing the same puffy jacketâŠbut thank goodness I didnât need the scarf this year – temperatures were in the upper fifties.
We walked over to Saks to soak in their beautiful light and music display. Timmy captured a great video. Let him know if youâd like to see itâŠheâll send it to you.
Sadly the very day after I took this photo, all shows at Radio City were cancelled for the rest of the season due to a covid outbreak among the Rockettes. I feel so sad for the performers and audiences. Actually Iâm really sad for all of us and I wonder when we can put this pandemic behind us. I realize there will be no returning to ânormalââŠwhatever that was anywayâŠbut at this point in our lives – I really do see time slipping away. Iâm determined not to get caught up in âif onlysâ – Iâm trying my best to stay in this moment (thanks yoga) and be joyful that we have this time together.
So yes, this happened as we walked back to the subway. Only in New York. Seriously.
Back home after a terrific visit to the Big Apple ⊠the cats let Timmy know how much they missed himđ»đ»
When in New York, we enjoy fetching Isabel from school and meeting up with Claire back at their house. Recently weâve been playing board gamesâŠClue was fun – Isabel and Tim competed as a team, I made a rookie mistake guessing the wrong culprit, thus eliminating myself and Claire won.
Yesterday we played Trouble. Oh my goodness. Never again. Here are a few pics of Isabel losing.
The child was miserable. Like abjectly miserable. She couldnât believe that Grandma sent her back to the beginning twice. The betrayal was real and stinging.
Sheâs competing with Timmy for third place and smiling now because Mommy came home and saved the afternoon with a loving pep talk about never giving up.
So on Monday we definitely wonât be playing Trouble. Hopefully it will be warm enough to shoot some baskets in the driveway, if not maybe a few hands of âGo Fishâ or âWarâ. But decidedly no Trouble.
Iâll leave off with one last photo of the Saks light display. Thanks for following along. We wish you a happy joyful holiday seasonâŠfree of expectations and full of love.
